I also learned something through this process. That while it is fun and easy to blog about the shiny, pretty and fluffy side of my life, that is not my only reality. I learned not be afraid of writing my truth which may be on a subject that is not upbeat, or cheerful or puts me in the most favorable light.
Without readers who I feel I can trust, I would not have allowed myself to open up and be vulnerable to criticism and judgment, of which I felt neither. And for that, I thank you all.
It’s been about two months now since the wine bottle and I parted ways. Honestly, it was easy to do because I was under doctor’s orders. I was and still am terrified of triggering an episode, so what may look like a strong will and self-discipline is really just fear.
At the same time I gave up alcohol, I gave up caffeine which, pardon my language, sucked. What horrible headaches and body aches I had. It felt like a flu. My doctor warned me that I would feel poorly for about a week or so, but I didn’t realize how rotten it would be.
I have since introduced a small amount of caffeine into my daily life. I have a cabinet full of beautiful teas I bought in Paris that I can’t imagine not enjoying. As long as I keep the amount of caffeine to a minimum, I have no issues.
It has been an interesting last couple of months. I checked my calender today and realized it’s been 60 days without even a drop of wine in my system. I wanted to briefly share what’s changed.
~ Weight loss. This is first because it’s my favorite! I wanted to post this photo a couple of weeks back because I thought I looked thinner in it, but my face looks funny. Ignore the goofy facial expression and look instead at my legs (yes, I am showing off). I have lost about 7 to 10 pounds, depending on the day. My clothes feel looser and overall, I feel much lighter.
Initially, I thought I would drop 10 pounds in a week or two. Why on earth I would think such a thing is a mystery to me. If I do the math (3500 calories equals a pound. Two glasses of wine is about 250 – 300 calories). At a 300 calorie deficit per day, it would take over a week to lose one pound. Slow weight loss is the way to go anyway, so I am happy it’s taken its time.
~ Tummy is flatter: Love that!
~ Better sleep: I still rarely sleep through the night because I sleep with two Yorkies who cling to me for warmth even in July. But I can get back to sleep with ease instead of lying awake worrying like I used to. Plus, I wake up more refreshed than when I would drink wine the night before.
~ Skin is more clear: I am rolling my eyes as I type this because I currently have a break out on my jawline (thanks, hormones), but for the most part, my skin is very clear since I no longer imbibe.
~ Saying dumb things: I rarely say stupid stuff anymore and if I do it was simply a mistake that any clear headed person would make. I used to cringe the next day after a party when I thought I may have looked like an idiot, or offended or misunderstood someone.
~ Bored at parties: My attention span for social events is about half what it used to be. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I don’t know. It just is.
~ Friendships: I thought I might lose some of my friendships with people who drink. And there are a few I haven’t seen or told about my A-Fib, so I am not entirely sure what the future holds for those relationships. So far, of the friends who know, everyone has been supportive. I haven’t had anyone tease me or push drinks on me and I still have a social life, we just do what we used to do and I drink mineral water.
~ Financially: I’m not buying wine anymore which saves us a good chunk of money, as I had somewhat expensive tastes ($15- $40 per bottle). Restaurant bills are much less too.
~Outlook: My future looks brighter than it ever has. I feel positive, I feel free, and in control. I am excited – very excited – about life.
I can’t finish this post without mentioning that my sweet husband voluntarily stopped drinking at the same time to support me. He has lost about 12 pounds, looks ten years younger and also feels as fantastic as I do. Bill quitting with me has brought us even closer and made my challenges less difficult. Thank you, Honey, for being such a compassionate and loving partner.
This is the only recent photo I have of the two of us. We were just leaving for a fundraiser last Wednesday night and I asked Tori to take a few shots. This is the only “good” one as the camera was not loving us that night.
I will resume normal blogging tomorrow
with another Homemade Friday.XO,