Modern Friendships

When I began my blog nearly 4 years ago, I never thought it would have such an impact on my friendships. Back then, I thought of my blog as a separate world and that my relationships were created, developed, nurtured and occasionally dissolved only in my everyday life. Never did it occur to me that people I interact with online could also become part of that everyday life.

Wednesday morning I styled my hair and put on makeup. I threw on my favorite new blouse and a pair of jeans and darted around the house looking for sunglasses, lip gloss and my phone.

It was obvious to Tori, my 19-year-old stepdaughter that I was going out. The first clue being that I wasn’t in my typical uniform of yoga pants and a sweatshirt.

She asked me where I was off to. I told her I was going to Sonoma for lunch. “Who with?” she asked. “Her name is Barbie,” I said, “I’ve never met her. We follow each other on Instagram.”

“Oh. Are you nervous?”

“Nope. Not at all.” And I meant it.

On my drive to Sonoma, I reflected on that conversation. I didn’t have the slightest twinge of nervousness, which is interesting because in the past I didn’t relish meeting strangers.

When I first started meeting people in person through my blog, I was terrified. I worried about how I would be perceived in person versus my online persona. I worried I might not click with them and would have to endure sitting through a meal, making forced conversation. But that never happened.

I have had so many wonderful, rewarding and fun experiences over the years meeting people through my blog or Facebook or some other social platform that I no longer find it weird, scary, or awkward. It’s part of my life now and I like it.

friendCollage1

From left to right: Heather from StyleMindChic, Tamera of Tamera Beardsley, Linda, Barbie, Kim from Northern California Style.

Some of my closest friendships are with women I met this way. Several I have met in person, a few on more than one occasion.

At first these friends were relegated to a “blog friend” category. I couldn’t bring myself to just call them “friends”. I had to add a qualifying word to it, as if there was something unseemly or suspect about it. Over the years, that has changed. I don’t care how we met, they are my friends just like my friends I met the old fashioned way.

I see the world of modern friendships and meeting new people evolving and given more value and acceptance. It makes our world smaller but also expands our network and our life experiences.

That I can call Jill, who lives 3,000 miles away in Brooklyn, and chat about fashion and blogging and planking challenges as though we had had many in-person interactions is pretty cool!  I am confident in saying Jill and I would never know one another were it not for blogging. And not knowing Jill would be a real shame.

By the way, my lunch in Sonoma with my new friend, Barbie was lots of fun. We plan on staying in touch and are seeing each other again in April.

Barbie, who just moved to San Francisco from South Carolina only one week ago, is making her transition a little easier by meeting local people she interacted with online.  If you’ve ever relocated to another city, state or country, you know how hard it is to make new friends as an adult. I wish I had had these resources available to me when I moved to Sonoma County.

What’s your experience making friends through blogs or social media?

How deep and genuine would you say those friendships are?

Do you see your friends who you’ve met online in person or is it strictly online?

XO,

Adrienne

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17 Comments

  1. March 13, 2014 / 11:02 pm

    that is probably the coolest part of blogging! I have quite a number of people who I consider friends and meet them offline as often as possible but met them over the internet. More over, years back my hubby and I met there

  2. March 14, 2014 / 12:33 am

    I can totally relate to this. Having started blogging just 6 months ago, I was welcomed into a group of fashion bloggers and we met up in London a couple of weekends ago. I really didn’t feel nervous at all even though many of them had met before. They are such a fab bunch of women, kind, supportive and fun-loving. I also speak to non-bloggers on Twitter and Facebook and get so much from them too. xx

  3. March 14, 2014 / 4:17 am

    It’s really the best part, isn’t it? Love all these pictures. I just spent a day with Paula, check my post! xox

  4. Leigh
    March 14, 2014 / 5:11 am

    I loved this post. Although I have not met any of the women from the blogs I read, I really would love to. There are some I have thought, I think I would really like them.
    I have thought the same thing, what if I don’t have anything to say? What if we just sit there? Then this post gave me thought: You probably have a lot in common with your readers. You are interested in the same things, and that’s why they read your blog. So I guess that makes it easier to become friends.

  5. March 14, 2014 / 5:54 am

    It was so fun to read this post. I have only been blogging for two months and I’ve not met anyone in person but I have to say everyone has been friendly and kind and even generous online. Cute Pam from www.over50feeling40 added a link to my site the moment she found out I was new. This really is an amazing experience. Wonderful post Adrienne
    Suzanne
    www.chapter-two.net

  6. Kathy
    March 14, 2014 / 6:23 am

    It’s true. I have two women who’ve blogs I’ve read and they’ve become good friends. One of them I found out lives 3 doors away from me! The other lives further, but we do see each other and have more visits planned. We write or text daily, and I can honestly say she’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had. Wonderful photos of your blog friends!

  7. March 14, 2014 / 7:17 am

    I finally met someone in real life through my blog -she used to blog but still follows them – don’t know if you know Curator( http://www.adlib.co/ ). But I normally get nervous but for some reason she didn’t seem like a stranger as we chatted and I read her comments not just on my blog but on others so we already had a sense of each other. She was brilliant and there was never a silent moment and we had already built up references and I was sooo surprised. I am so glad to have blogged bc otherwise I don’t think people know what we are talking about otherwise. I know I used to think it was odd when bloggers would mention stuff like this but now I totally get it! In fact I think I continue to blog because I would miss my blogging mates!

  8. March 14, 2014 / 8:03 am

    Wow, what a post! I am SO touched to be included in your met-them-through-my-blog friend roundup! I feel I am more myself in my blogging personality than my personality if you met me casually on the street, i.e., the stuff I write about is concerned with something I am reading, thinking about, obsessing over, etc., so I feel like people I’ve met through blogging already have a pretty good handle on who I am and the things I love! I was nervous meeting blogging friends in person for the first time but got over it pretty quickly since I knew we spoke a common language. It felt completely natural to talk with you on the phone last summer and I just know we are going to get a chance to meet in person someday! You are the best. Thank you for making my day! XO, Jill

  9. March 14, 2014 / 8:25 am

    Adrienne … I absolutely love this post … and how you gave it a name … Modern Friendships! I had to laugh out loud with your comment regarding blog friends as something “unseemly or suspect”. When I first started meeting people in person … I felt like my family was particularly ‘suspect’, my son even joked, ” how do you know they’re not serial killers!”.

    But now nobody jokes any more. My family has also met many of the amazing people I know and now call friends … all because of blogging.

    As I began transitioning from being a full time mother, I had realized many of my close friends were still busy raising their family. I joked with my daughter, that there needed to be an online match making site for women my age, who were looking to invest in quality friendships … within days of saying this out loud … I realized what a fabulous opportunity my blog had created. That I needn’t look any further … I already had the perfect opportunity to meet so many fabulous women … with whom I shared so many similar interest!

    I still remember the moment, after reading that a trip of yours, was bringing you our my way … I made a decision to summon the courage to invite you and Bill to dinner at our house. I kept telling myself … nothing ventured … nothing gained! I am ever so glad I did! Your friendship has been such a joy in my life! You are every bit as wonderful in person … as you are on your blog … even more so in my opinion!

    Thank you Adrienne for this most lovely post … championing ‘Modern Friendships’!!

    xoxo
    Tamera

  10. March 14, 2014 / 9:55 am

    What a great idea for a post! Being new to blogging, I haven’t met anyone in person yet, but I’m sure I will! Of course, I’ve been friends with Kim from Northern California Style since college and she was a big inspiration for me to start blogging. I do feel like I know you, Adrienne, and Heather from StyleMindChic, through your blogs and your connection to Kim.
    OXOX

  11. March 14, 2014 / 10:15 am

    Adrienne, I so agree- so many incredible people I’ve connected with, then met (including the awesome Jill) and there wasn’t a moment of awkward. I remember when I met Helga- and felt instantly at ease with her. I said so, and she rolled in her beautiful Kiwi accent: “of course, darling, we feel like we know eachother- we DO know each other!” I am SO grateful for these modern friendships, and the means we have to connect to kindred spirits around the world. Including Sonoma/Napa/you.

  12. March 14, 2014 / 11:58 am

    Adrienne dear-what a thoughtful and generous post. I am touched and honored to be included in this photo collage and to be counted as one of your ‘modern friends’ (love that!). You were the first blogger friend I was set to meet and I was a little nervous that day last summer. All the nerves vanished when I realized how much we already knew about each other because of blogging—yes-these friendships are genuine and ‘real’. This is my favorite aspect of blogging as well and it’s such an unexpected gift. Thank you for this post my lovely and generous friend.
    xx, Heather

  13. March 14, 2014 / 1:12 pm

    Excellent, beautiful, authentic post. Loved it! I am a first time visitor and a friend of mine sent me your site. I liked these thoughts from you very much and because of you . . . now my friends will be friends, no matter what world!

    At first these friends were relegated to a “blog friend” category. I couldn’t bring myself to just call them “friends”. I had to add a qualifying word to it, as if there was something unseemly or suspect about it. Over the years, that has changed. I don’t care how we met, they are my friends just like my friends I met the old fashioned way.

  14. March 14, 2014 / 5:13 pm

    I am a brand-new blogger, and this is one of the things that has surprised me most — what a kind, generous group my fellow bloggers are! I haven’t met any in person, but I’m already thinking, if I ever go to Scotland, or New Zealand, or Montreal, etc., I know who I want to call . . . I just thought I’d be here at my computer at my kitchen table writing all by myself! Thanks to all you long-timers for making us newbies feel welcome!!

  15. Linda Salazar
    March 14, 2014 / 8:45 pm

    Awww how sweet to do a post on your blogging friendships, and that you thought to include me in it.

    I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since we saw you and Bill in S.F. and coming up on 3 years now since we met in Sonoma for the first time. If it makes you feel any better, I was a little nervous about meeting you, but I think chatting on the phone for awhile the night before put me at ease. I really enjoyed our lunch that day and that was so sweet you remembered my birthday. Our dinner the following night with the husbands was fun too! And you were so helpful directing me to an Urgent Care for my little mini emergency. 🙂 And the fact that you took the time to run over to Kunde for a goodbye before we left Sonoma was extra special.

    Although we don’t see each other often, it’s nice to know that we have managed to stay in touch to this day. It’s weird but I feel as though I have known you for a long time…I never would have thought I would make a friend through a blog!

    Linda
    xo

  16. Marilyn
    March 15, 2014 / 9:34 am

    Funnily enough I have just returned home from having lunch with a lovely friend I met on an internet forum. We have so much in common and can talk for England (which is where we live!!). We meet regularly and also meet a couple of times a year (or more, time allowing) with other members for a chaotic girly weekend. Great fun and amazing support in times of need.

  17. March 16, 2014 / 12:47 pm

    All these quite long comments show the importance of meeting fabulous women and making friends via blogging. And I couldn’t agree more – blogger friends become real friends! Unfortunately we cannot meet them all in real life because of the distance but we can still strongly connect with them via new media.
    This week I will meet 2 blogger friends in person (one of them I have already met) and I am so much looking forward to it!

    Annette | Lady of Style

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