Welcome to the third article in the “Live Your Richest Life” series.
This is an ongoing series that my friend and professional life coach, Ivy Petersen and I created with the hopes that everyone who reads it will feel inspired to live their richest life, no matter what their situation. Creating a rich life starts on the inside!
In last month’s post, Ivy and I discussed identifying your saboteurs. Ivy suggested simply noticing them, not trying to change them or make them go away, but observing. In this post, Ivy gives us techniques for managing and even benefitting from our saboteurs.
Here is what Ivy has for us this time:
“I believe that it’s our behavior that changes our false beliefs, also known as our saboteur strategies. And I don’t believe that they ever ago away. We can manage them and weaken them but they are here to stay.
What if we changed our relationship to them? What if they could actually serve us rather than hurt us? It is possible but it’s up to you. Are you willing to get real, raw and vulnerable? Are you up for the challenge of being uncomfortable in a way that will serve your highest good? Awesome.
You must first know what those strategies are. If you already know your saboteurs and their mode of operandi, great! If not, I recommend step taking the self-assessment. That way you know who and what you are dealing with and can take the appropriate action.
Here is a simple method you can use to not only free yourself from the attack, but to also allow yourself to step into a way of being that is in alignment with who you really are.
This is a re-introduction to a procedure you most likely learned as a child known as Stop, Drop, and Roll. My version goes like this:
Breathe and Observe:
Observing takes practice. Be gentle with yourself, breathe and take a moment to just listen. There may be multiple saboteurs at work. Listen to what they are saying and just notice what’s going on.
Clarify, Identify, Stay and Ask:
Get out of your head and into your heart or wherever the most intuitive place in your body resides.
Clarify by asking what emotions are coming up for you. Be specific about what you are experiencing. This will help you to determine which saboteur is being triggered.
Identify by asking, who it is. Is it the controller, the judge, the perfectionist, the pleaser or some other saboteur?
Stay – the most challenging – requires you to be present in the discomfort long enough to determine what you truly want. For many of us, being uncomfortable seduces us to do anything but to stay in it. Allow the saboteur to rant. Give it space to tell the story and then put it on paper. This process gives you the opportunity to observe more freely.
Ask the saboteur what it wants. Generally it has something to do with some external situation and might sound like:
She should treat me with respect!
If he would only pay attention to me then I wouldn’t be so needy all the time!
I would be happy if fill-in-the-blank.
This is where the rubber hits the road. Are you willing to do what it takes to shift from where you are to where you say you want to be?
If so, then what is next? Speaking your truth? Asking for help? Taking a Nap? Getting a massage? Gardening? Taking a class? Dancing?
Get to know yourself. Some of us have gotten so wrapped up in pleasing others, being perfect, controlling situations or running away that we have neglected to recognize who we are and what we really want. We also do this by recognizing who we are not.”
Are you ready to try Stop, Drop and Roll the next time your false beliefs – your saboteurs – get in the way of living your rich life?
Make it a rich day!